What Happened When I Obeyed God Without Knowing Why

What Happened When I Obeyed God Without Knowing Why

Kneeling, face against the floor, I wept tears of brokenness – physically, emotionally, and psychologically – for both myself and my family. It was March 2019 and my world was a mess. Hardly an area of life was functioning well. And all of this on the heels of a second round of cancer treatment.

Still face down, I suddenly had an internal vision through my tears. God was doing a new thing and it would touch each person and every area of petition. Hallelujah! Afterwards, I remember telling everyone in my circle.

God gave me a verse to encourage me while he did this new thing. It was Psalm 27:13-14 “I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” Neat verse. In retrospect, I should have realized the implication of the repeated call to wait.

Waiting and Doubting

A year later, I was still waiting. I hadn’t observed much change.  I began to doubt. Had I misunderstood my experience?  Was I remembering it wrong? Two years later, then three years, it was pretty much the same.  I often found myself journaling my faith struggle and searching scripture for other circumstances of waiting on God’s promises. Finally, at four years in, real change began happening in my family. And yet my own personal situation hadn’t shifted.

An Unexpected Opportunity

In the fall of 2021 Grace Leadership Institute began promoting a leadership training series; three classes set to begin that winter. From the first time it was mentioned, I knew I was meant to attend. It was a knowing without any obvious reason. After all, in what way was I anyone’s leader? At the time I was teaching middle school English. While influencing others is part of the job of a classroom teacher, I was puzzled as to why or how I’d benefit from taking leadership classes.

Having a bit of a geeky side, I enjoyed the role of student again. The instructor kept things relevant and interesting, and in each course I gained insights: clarifying my calling, realizing the reality of life rhythm over work-life balance, and assessing my assets and issues as a leader.

But to what end? I kept asking myself, always with no solid answer. I could feel the weight of the wait.  When would it all make any sense? Was I building up expectations, or setting myself up for disappointment? After all, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick”.

An Intriguing Job Posting

One day I came across a job posting that completely intrigued me. The position sounded like it was written for me, using the exact language I’d used in my prayerful petitions for work more suited to my person and abilities.

Significantly, the job would require the successful candidate to hire and build a team— to be a leader, in other words.

I apparently put more talk than action into pursuing the job because when I finally got around to submitting my application, I got a notice stating that applicants were no longer being considered.

Big, big bummer! I was pretty mad at myself for a good week.

I went on with my life, chalking it up to yet one more dead end.

A Surprising and Hopeful Change of Events

Five weeks later I got an email out of the blue requesting an interview for the position I’d applied for. What?! Surprised and cautiously hopeful, I prepared for the interview.  It went extremely well, and in a matter of days I was scheduled for a second interview, this time with the hiring manager.

I’ve been in a lot of interviews— on both sides due to being a former recruiter myself. When I sat down to with the hiring manager, I could feel it immediately: this was a “dream date” interview.

They’d been looking for the right candidate for months, to no avail. There was always a very specific missing quality. And I had it! In fact, it was the exact same characteristic that seemingly prevented me from progressing in the multitude other positions I’d applied to over the last near-decade.

I was incredulous. Could this be what God had been preparing me for— and preserving me for— this whole time?  Is God’s plan to answer both my needs and those of this organization at the exact same time.

How God has been preparing me

At the time of this writing, I don’t know for sure.  I await my third (and hopefully final) interview. I hope I get it. But whether I do or not, I see how God has been at work preparing me, equipping me, and molding me with the skills and mindset I’ll need to lead a team well— whatever and wherever that team may be.

The art of obeying God even in the middle of uncertainty

This is the work of trust, isn’t it?  To obey even in the middle of not knowing why.  Faith, after all, is the evidence of things yet unseen.  My obedience to take those leadership classes came not because I saw how they might benefit me in the moment.  The obedience came because I know the God who plans all things for good, even if that good rarely comes in a timeframe I myself might prefer.

I do trust that it will all make sense.  Maybe after my next interview!  Or maybe not until heaven.  Either way, what I’ve learned through taking those GLI leadership classes was invaluable to me.

Learning to trust and obey God’s direction —even when I don’t immediately understand the reasons— is simply a beautiful cherry on top.

Interested in Trying out a Leadership Course?

Grace Leadership Institute offers regular courses and intensive weekends on a variety of leadership and Biblical topics. You can learn more about our courses and check out upcoming offerings here! 

The Church Must Not Give Away Our Intellectual Ground

The Church Must Not Give Away Our Intellectual Ground

We have entered a cultural moment where the church must recommit to intellectual development. Our society is in need of clear-headed, common sense worldview conversations. And unless the church has something compelling to contribute, we will be left in the rear view… if we haven’t been already.

The Rise of Anti-Intellectualism in the American Church

Starting with the Pilgrims, American Christians prized the intellectual life for its contribution to the Christian journey. The Puritans were highly educated people – founded colleges, taught their children to read and write before age 6, studied art, science, philosophy and other fields as a way of loving God with the mind.

In the middle of the 1800’s things began to change dramatically. With the 1st and 2nd Great Awakenings there came an overemphasis on immediate personal conversion to Christ instead of a studied period of reflection and conviction. Many converted to Christianity during these revivals but had no real grasp of Christian teaching.

At the same time, an intellectual assault on Christianity was brewing across the ocean. This offensive against historic Christian belief reached its full force in the late 1800s with the impact of the European Enlightenment. David Hume came to prominence in the field of philosophy, Julius Wellhausen in higher criticism and biblical interpretation, and Charles Darwin in the sciences eventually leading to the theory of macro-Evolution. Instead of responding to these advancements with a rigorous intellectual counterpunch, many believers grew suspicious of intellectual issues altogether.

Around the turn of the 20th Century, Christian fundamentalists withdrew from broader intellectual culture and essentially removed themselves from public discourse. This escapist approach has been embedded in the foundations of the modern American church. We’ve allowed secular narratives to dominate the world of higher education and have conceded ground in the worldview of our nation.

This modern retreat from the cultural conversation is neither biblical nor consistent with the bulk of Church history. JP Mooreland, in his great book Love Your God with All Your Mind, says it this way:

“Instead of standing up and doing the hard work of responding to the critics, Christians opted out and said, It doesn’t matter what the facts say, I feel Jesus in my heart, and that’s all that really matters to me. So, we opted for a subjective pietism instead of hard thinking on the issues, and therefore we lost our place in the public square. The way to deal with vain philosophies, wherever they may be found, is to have good philosophy, not to abandon the art of critical thinking altogether.”

An Important Response

I believe it’s time for the church to respond. To re-engage with the larger conversation. The Christian worldview is the corrective measure our culture needs. But how do we go about it? Many have chosen the way of fighting a culture war. Enter the fray of yelling voices on media outlets and social media platforms and attempt to double down in a full frontal attack.

I propose a different strategy.

I believe we need to train up the existing ranks of church leaders, including staff members, volunteers, small group leaders, youth leaders, and anyone else in the church who is eager to sharpen their understanding of a biblical worldview. We must train people in the basics of theology, of bible study and interpretation, and biblical leadership principles.

It’s why I’m passionate about our mission at the Grace Leadership Institute. We are committed to bringing accessible world-class instruction to our little school of ministry in Erie, PA. Starting right here in our little triangle from Cleveland, to Buffalo, to Pittsburgh, to see everyday church leaders strengthened in their knowledge and understanding of the Christian faith, and how it gets walked out in real life. The church needs it, and our culture needs it. We need to stop the bleeding. We need to stop conceding intellectual ground to the enemy.

This Must be Stronger than That

In his important book Beautiful Resistance, Jon Tyson tells the story of a small seminary Dietrich Bonhoeffer started at the beginning of the Nazi rise to power. Bonhoeffer was a German Lutheran pastor who lived in the early 1900s and was killed at age 39 by the Third Reich as an anti-Nazi dissident.

In 1933, Nazi power was growing in Germany. Hitler didn’t want just political power but the hearts and minds of people. This was a spiritual fight, and the church was being threatened. There was widespread apathy and lack of obedience among Christians. Christians were compromising their faith and were putting all their faith in the state. In 1935 Bonhoeffoer was gifted a historic old manor house on a little piece of land and was asked to start an underground seminary in a town called Finkenwalde. One of Bonhoeffer’s friends Wilhelm Niesel caught wind of this little seminary. Niesel had become concerned that Dietrich was going off the deep end. Bonhoeffer seemed to be getting a little too intense about his faith, so Niesel made a visit to Finkenwalde to try to settle down Bonhoeffer’s Christian zeal. To tell him, “Just take it easy, dial it back, blend in a little. You’re becoming a little extreme in your views.”

When Niesel arrived, Bonhoeffer took him out in a boat on the Oder River, they pulled up on the far shore and walked up a small hill to a clearing from which they could see both the little seminary on one side and in the distance on the other side stood the vast runways and airfields of the growing Nazi regime. They watched planes taking off and landing and young well-trained soldiers moving in purposeful patterns like ants. Bonhoeffer turned to Niesel and said, there is a whole generation “training for a kingdom of hardness and cruelty.” They are being groomed and shaped and formed with ideologies and practices that are meant for great harm. Then Bonhoeffer pointed back to his little seminary across the river and said, “this (pointing at his school) must be stronger than that (pointing at the Nazi training center).”

The training he was doing at Finkenwalde with young church leaders, had to outpace what Hitler was doing with his young troops. The work of the church must be stronger than the work of the world. People, you, me, our churches, and everybody in our country, are being formed and shaped by all kinds of forces and voices. This must be stronger than that. To quote Tyson:

“Discipleship must be stronger than cultural formation. Loyalty must be stronger than compromise. This must be stronger than that. The times called for a beautiful resistance. Bonhoeffer’s little seminary was closed down by the Gestapo in 1937 with only a few dozen graduates. But the image of this little school was a prophetic seed for a faithful church… I believe that what was true in the 1930s is true now. We live in a time when the church is compromising with the culture left, right, and center, and we’re losing our influence. Though there is no specific “Hitler” pressuring us, we face myriad forces seeking to sabotage our faith. Because of the tectonic shift in sexuality, ethics, technology, secular ideologies, religion, and globalization, much of the familiar landscape has been swept away. In many areas, our culture is almost unrecognizable compared with a generation ago. The spiritual devastation from much of this cultural change and the failure of the church to respond well have been almost unthinkable. So, we must call our generation to loyalty to Christ. We must live with devotion and conviction regardless of what they cost us. This must be stronger than that.”

Imagine the church fully trained. Spiritually and intellectually equipped for the challenges of the day. Imagine church leaders, ministry teams, and group leaders confident in their ministry because of the investment of skillful instructors and coaches. Imagine churches coming together across racial lines, denominational lines, and cultural lines to prioritize what’s most important, our ability to stand for Christ and lead well in our generation. This is the dream of the Grace Leadership Institute. Make it so Lord.

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4 Timeless Tools for Christian Leaders

4 Timeless Tools for Christian Leaders

Jesus commissioned His followers, including Christian leaders, to go and make disciples of all nations. This mission requires a deep understanding of the role Christian leaders play in building the Kingdom. As Christian leaders, we have access to four vital resources that can empower us in this mission.

4 Timeless Tools and Resources for Christian Leaders

1. Prayer

Prayer is a powerful tool that connects us with Jesus and allows us to seek His guidance and presence. As Christian leaders, we are called to lead with faith and trust in God. Through prayer, we can present our requests, seek direction, and find peace and guidance from the One who knows and cares for us. Prayer is not only for personal needs but also an opportunity to express gratitude for God’s blessings.

2. Persuasion

Christian leaders have the responsibility to proclaim Jesus through His Word. Our role goes beyond mere mention or reference; we are called to offer Jesus to all who would listen. In our interactions with others, we should be ready to give a reason for the hope that we have, speaking with gentleness and respect. By both our words and actions, we can lead others to Christ and share the message of salvation.

3. Service

Christian leaders are called to follow the example of Jesus, who came to serve others. Our actions can be a powerful demonstration of our faith. By building others up in truth and love, meeting needs, and engaging in good works, we embody the message we preach. Our service not only impacts individuals but also contributes to the growth of the Kingdom of God.

4. Endurance through Suffering

In a broken world full of trouble, Christian leaders understand the reality of suffering. However, we have the assurance that Jesus has overcome the world. As we endure suffering, it produces perseverance, character, and ultimately hope. Our faithful response to suffering becomes a powerful testimony of our trust in God and His promise of redemption. This hope in the midst of adversity can inspire others to seek faith and salvation.

The Hour Has Already Come for Christian Leaders

When we examine the life of Christ and the early church, we see these tools utilized to fulfill the mission entrusted to them. Despite persecution and challenges, their commitment to prayer, persuasion, service, and endurance led to miraculous growth in the Kingdom. As Christian leaders, we must be aware of the urgency of the times and awaken from any complacency. Let us remember that “the hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed” (Rom 13:11)

Let us embrace these tools and use them to bring salvation to more people, while being a blessing to the world. May our leadership be rooted in prayer, our words and actions persuade others towards Christ, our service reflect the love of Jesus, and our endurance through suffering inspire hope. Let us navigate the challenges of our time with faith, purpose, and unwavering dedication to the mission we have been called to as Christian leaders.

Inspired by John Dickson’s Webinar, “Lessons from a Post-Christian Nation.”